link

i want this:



pretty. please.

departure

what a lovely and relaxing weekend.

we did everything and more, and it was nice to do nothing sometimes.

we laughed, and had the most delicious meals together. shopping. foot scrubs. therapy. andrew. 13 mariposa. weiner king. learning curve. my little friend. comfort. compassion. brilliant ideas.

last night we hit frank and lupe's for some authentic mexican cuisine and margaritas.

this morning we hit la grande orange for a quick breakfast.

perfect bites.

then time to drop them off at the airport.

it was so nice to see you both, s and e.

come back anytime.

guests

two gfs are coming to visit tomorrow! gasp!

i am so excited i could burst. they couldn't have picked a better weekend to see me.

the yin and yang in my life are coming to balance me out.

i have some fun things planned:

thursday

possible drinks at postino upon arrival

friday

brunch downtown at my favorite spot & downtown shopping

sol y sombra for dinner

saturday

foot scrubs appointment in the afternoon at hotel valley ho

browsing the shops in old town scottsdale

dinner is go with the flow for now

sunday

quick breakfast and departure

it will be brief but it will be a meaningful visit. i cannot wait to spend some quality gf time!

welcome to phoenix.

calm

i am going to lose my mind.

if i have to stay here for more than a couple of years.

i bought this:


to remind me to keep my head up.

it is gorgeous. and fabulous.

something pretty and shiny in the desert.

out

sometimes you just have to listen

and realize that while things might not go the way you thought they would.

listening to your heart will only work out in the end.

hear it.

flatware

i purchased our flatware online today:



the bf picked out the set. i figured that was okay since if we ever (ah-hem) tie the knot (cough, cough) we (read: i) will probably want to register for a really nice set.

i like them. affordable and nice.

after my purchase, i allowed the cursor to hover over the gift registry. i clicked on it. i got so far as to enter my first name.

i closed the page. waited for my heart to slow.

that was close. grin.

sal

the bf and i adopted a betta.

a blue one. we named him salinger.

*

currently, he is living in a cube vase. i went out yesterday, determined to buy him a new home in the form of an ornate glass cannister.

i found the perfect one at target. a round bubble on top of two slim bubbles and pedestal base. it was beautiful, and i was optimistic. i would just pull out the metal ring made for a single tealight, and voila! instant fish bowl.

went i got home, i rinsed out the bowl and put some glass rocks, as the base was hollow and i was worried salinger would find a way to wedge himself in there and not be able free himself. i set it beside salinger so he could get used to it. a visual trial period.

i settled in for the night. made some tea. worked a little.

CR-ACK!

a loud noise broke my peaceful reverie, and i looked around to find the culprit. i raised an eyebrow. i asked salinger what he had done.

i examined salinger's new home. it...looked....like... i couldn't resist the urge to poke it, and when i did the entire bowl came off the base and cracked in half. wide-eyed, i swore to myself, and vowed to clean it up. later. well, tomorrow.

today, when i returned home**, i picked up the top half of the bowl delicately by the handle, tipped-toed to the garbage. when i was less than a foot away from the garbage, i decided to examine the structural integrity of the bowl. i wanted to pinpoint where it had weakened and what had caused the entire bowl to cra...

SH-ATTER!

all over the kitchen floor. i stared at my hand for a moment. i surveyed the scene. at this point, i just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and go back to the couch and wait for the bf to help me on thursday.

but i got out my flip flops, found the swiffer (i only had wet cloths), and swept. then i got out my vacuum cleaner that runs on batteries. after that i picked up tiny shards by pressing my index finger on it and carrying it to the garbage can.

i am still scared to walk in the kitchen.

why had i not brought the garbage can TO the broken glass? good question. i don't have an answer for you. if i did, i probably would have done it that way and avoided a half hour worth of clean up.

anyway, welcome to my world, salinger.

*to protect his identity, this is not an image of the real salinger
**stop reading here if you hate stories about utter stupidity

ode

the bf doesn't leave me alone much.

it's usually a good thing as my thoughts are stunningly overactive and my imagination knows no boundaries.

but tonight, i am by myself. i just made some tea, and i am alone with my thoughts:

i miss you already. i am still trying to figure out why you called denver the city of angels. i thought that was los angeles. i love the way you wear your socks when you're at home. you pull the band down to your ankles, and the loose fabric makes me think of elf shoes. i am contemplating changing salinger's water again, but i am worried that the changings are too close and i will give him a heart attack. i wonder where you put your red zip-up - i like to wear that when you're not around because it smells like you. i just went on a hunt for it, and when i saw where it was i laughed out loud because it was in the closet, right where it should be, and least likely where you would put it. i really like how you think stacking something is the same as finding a place for it. i am glad you remembered your book this time. i wonder if you found the picture of me in your bag. i smile whenever you ask customer service people if they feel good about themselves. if i was the customer service rep you were talking to i would say yes. i think that when you get home we should go out on a date. or stay in on a date. oh who am i kidding we should probably just make dinner at home. i will try making ma po tofu again. i know we travel a lot, but it would be nice to go on holiday together. someplace new. i also decided that i like when you wear your hair big. it is fun and floppy. hope you are relaxing on the plane. call me when you land lightly on flowers in fankfurt.

i love you.*
soph

*usually when i say this the bf responds with i loved you first. sigh.

promise

i have been having a hard time lately.

i want to concentrate on the positive, but the things that are on my mind the most are often not.

i think the bf and i could have a nice life here. and we are looking into some beautiful homes.

i guess i can picture it all. i want it all with the bf. he has promised everything.

perhaps i am just not completely sold. on this life, anyway.

reason

i received a package at work today.

flowers. a beautiful arrangement.

from the bf.

the note read: i still love you even though you hate me.

i realized exactly why i moved here.

and exactly why i will stay.