care

i am a planner by nature.

i take care of things. mostly by myself.

because i think relying on someone else will ultimately cause disappointment.

i set myself up to be disappointed when someone is trying to help me because they won't do it my way. i forget that to be human is to be imperfect. i forget that to be me is to be imperfect.

and although i sigh with disappointment, deep down i know that it is because i am the only one who can take care of me, the way i want it to be.

except, for some reason, no matter how many reasons i give him to let me down, or how many ways i give him an out,

the bf always comes through for me.