gma

there was nothing i wanted to think about posting last week.

and no posts that i wanted to think about.

so i just want to say thank you for your silent thoughts and prayers.

i appreciate it, and i feel it.

here is something i wrote about my grandmother that i wanted to share:

my grandmother is a beautiful woman. she is well-traveled and resided mainly in taiwan and japan with my grandfather until she reluctantly moved to massachusetts. my late grandfather was the ambassador from taiwan to japan for many years. but my grandmother was never his trophy wife; she stood a pillar just as tall as he. like a good politico’s wife, my grandmother dressed up and went to countless celebrations, meetings, and events. she kept such a serene smile.

my memories of my grandmother are few, but vivid. i would thread my arm through hers, and she would be wearing a stylish sheath with three-quarter length sleeves. grandmama lin had an asian loveliness about her, like an origami crane or a pale pink peony. chinoiserie in a sense. she wore chanel red lipstick and held herself like the exquisite black purse she carried. to me, she was the first lady in asian form. fluid and formidable, she represented elegance in person and wore gloves over working hands.

today, she is soft-spoken but emanates grace, both innate and learned. her powerful spirit is tempered only by her delicate stature. we communicate mostly via hellos and shy smiles for i am a generation too removed for her language.

shortly after my grandfather died, her heart broke via an attack and she has not been the same. with the help of family, she has been quietly mending.

oh. that was almost too much.

excuse me.