btw

i'm out for the weekend.

off to see the bf in an undisclosed location.

top secret for now, you'll see why in time.

kiss kiss.

coral

the bf's sister is getting married in kauai in april.

i would like to wear this dress:



lovely. beachy. not black.

i am focused on prints at the moment.

i also think this would be nice:



longer. strappy. but still pretty.

over the course of the next two months, i will be somewhat obsessed with finding the perfect dress.

it's what i do.

sunsign

sun sign: capricorn

your horoscope - today, january 30, 2008

You have a very passionate period in store for you, sophie, and today is the first day of this kind of renewal in your life. The fire that is burning inside you will melt the ice you have on the outside. All that warmth will make you want to come out of your shell and to share those feelings with others that you are so used to hiding under your stern personality. But that's just a facade you tend to put on with other people...

sounds uplifting and fiery. and somewhat comforting on a chilly day like today.

it's cold in minnesota. i don't really like it. it's bitter. and it hurts.

i forget every year how cold it is. and every winter i tell everyone that last year wasn't so bad. except i will have to remember that this year, it is pretty bad.

tonight i am off to gigi's with duff. then i am going to bed. i have to burn off this cold.

wishing you warmth.

pioneertown

my next frivolous trip:



i'm not kidding, and I can't wait.

giddy-up!

bo

i don't know why, but i love this floppy hat:

i've been drawn to prints lately. blouses. loose. florals. breeze.

i don't know if it's because of a yearning for spring or a soul awakening.

either way, i'm rolling with it.

ooh

i know this might not seem like the grandest of gestures,

but the bf made me his beneficiary last week.

(!)

how romantic, to me.

i raced to tell my coworkers after the bf told me.

everyone oohed and ahhed on cue.

i love when people humor me.

life is pretty grand.

show

great weekend.

i basically lazed around and shopped online.

hence the lack of posting.

on friday night the bf and i went to see the holiday show* at the brave new workshop.

i love that place. the night had been planned for at least a month. two workfriends and their husbands. plus us.

stuck in the manger with you; or carol on, my wayward son was hilarious.

the pinot noir in a plastic cup was not. but it was still worth it.

when we were filing out of the place, mike remembered me. me. in my starstruck way, i mumbled some dorky phrases such as "great job!" and "you were great!" and "thanks for coming to my birthday party!" while grinning like an idiot. and only when we are out of his range do i breathe normally again.

sigh. i love him, i love him, i looooove him.

*better late than never.

return

i am returning a birthday gift today.

read: giving them back.

a guest gave them to me at my birthday dinner. a "friend." slipped to me in a brown paper bag during a moment alone at the bar.

i peered inside. something was bunched up. i reached in and pulled part of it out into the light.

some. kind. of. cotton.



betsey johnson. illustrated by ed hardy.

and totally inappropriate.

it doesn't matter that they were designed by his favorite artist. i am having a hard time believing that someone so smart could have been so thoughtless and disrespectful. of me. of the bf. of our relationship. of our friendship.

i have run out of excuses for him. it's just not worth it. i cannot help you anymore.

so back to the giver they go. peace.

12

we stayed on balcomie lane in southampton this weekend.

it was blissful. we just relaxed.

it was the kind of weekend where we were either preparing food or eating food.

and a glass of wine was always ready.

good friends. a captivating four year-old girl.

saturday night was a feast of pork with a rasperry chipotle glaze. rice with cranberries. asparagus with olive oil.

we drove by beautiful houses. walked past a charming town.

the hamptons in the off-season. i imagine that i would prefer it to the summer months.

on sunday we left early and headed to the city where i met two dear girlfriends at the brick cafe. so nice. a hot tea and a catch-up chat.

then off to reality. now i'm back. i think i'll stay on the ground for a little while.

**

i have been thinking about sparkly stud earrings all day (read: i've been busy).

i think i might treat myself this evening.

so there.

regards

i want to write thank you notes on this:



please.

déjà vu

i can feel myself pulling away.

just like last time. even though i know it is not the same.

i smiled like it didn't matter. i laughed like i was indifferent. i pretended that everything was okay. i tucked it all deep inside. imploded. oh, that trap of mine. it was all my doing so there was no one else to blame.

looking back, i don't know if i regret the way i did it. i did it my way. the only way i knew how. mine.

and in the end, i can only do what i can do.

because i cannot control anything, or anyone, else.

urp

is what i feel like today.

i've been experiencing bouts of nausea for a while now, but this weekend (starting on friday, natch) the wave came on full force.

i dry-heaved through meetings. i drove myself home while wanting to simultaneously throw up and pass out. and i slept heavily, groggile, uncomfortably most of the weekend.

i threw up on saturday night. i went to bed at 7:30p every evening.

and yet. it's not a cold. or the flu.

the nurse at minute clinic said it might be an ulcer. acid reflux. a pregnancy. or a viral bug.

thanks.

sun

back from holiday in puerto vallarta.

breakfast at 100% natural. every morning. every morning it took longer for them to serve us.

tried to get a remote control for the television. eight times. each time they said "someone will be at your room in five minutes." we believed them almost every time.

sampled flavored tequila. pomegranate. lime. hibiscus.

ordered sandwiches and fries at the pool.

we read books (how the mind works and the unbearable lightness of being - guess which was mine).

and held hands while we leisured the boardwalk.

the sun baked my skin and gave me indecent tan lines.

margaritas on the rocks and watching the vikings lose.

purchased a bottle of tempranillo off the street and acted surprised when the cork broke to pieces.

watched consecutive episodes of law and order. the new year's eve eve marathon.

took a moment to catch the sunset. we walked along the beach and skipped rocks (read: the bf skipped rocks while i miserably attempted).

we celebrated the new year with locals at an open-air restaurant. tacos con pollo and a chicken breast con queso the size of a steak.

finally found the time to love each other.

happy 08.