eye

i have an eye ulcer.

yes. an ulcer. in my eye.

of all things.

ulcericity (what? it's a word) in eyes happens when you a) have an infection or b) lack of oxygen and/or hydration.

since i didn't have an infection, i can only conclude that this was due to a deep nap in arizona. while wearing contacts.

and now, i will always have a scar. oh, brutal, cruel ulcer.

upon hearing my diagnosis,

i asked my opthalmologist the following most important questions:

1. what color will the scar be? (a: white)
2. where will the scar be on my eye? (at first the answer was a: where it hurts! and then the a was: on your cornea)

which lead to this:

3. what is my cornea? (at which point i hopefully answered myself: the white part?)
4. i'll have a white scar on the white part of my eye? (a: no, your cornea is where the lens goes)
5: my contact lens? (a: yes)

and i finally got it: oh, the brown part. gasp! having a white scar on the brown part of my eye is worse than having a white scar on the white part of my eye!

6. will people be able to see it? (a: not unless they are really close to you or you know people with a microscope)
7. will i be able to see it? (a: not unless you are looking for it)

wail: i don't want to be able to see it!

8. will it get smaller? (a: it will fade in time and you will hardly notice it)

i kept pulling out my little compact to find my new little scar. i found it, and then i kept finding it until he finally said,
stop looking at it!

hmph.