miss

i have never lived anywhere other than minnesota.

and i am trying to regain my footing. in a place that is different to me.

it gets hotter daily, and i am still just warming up.

i am optimistic.

there are nooks that have yet to be explored.

and cuisine to be sampled. fine dining to be had.

i just wish i didn't miss everything i used to have so much.

xoxo

so

today i found out that my ex is married.

married. like he has a wife. he is someone's husband.

it threw me.

i need time to recover.

welcome

we have our first apartment-guest this weekend.

a sweet, uptight businessman from manhattan.

we're not quite sure what to do with him yet, as most of our nights involve shopping online for a bed frame or shorts for the bf. thrilling, in other words.

we do have some never-tried-here-before options:

asia de cuba at the mondrian

roka akor

sedona

cafe zuzu at the hotel valley ho

frank lloyd wright's taliesin west

i am looking forward to the company. it will give us a chance to check out places that we haven't been.

i hope m won't mind the inflatable bed we have waiting for him.

up

i woke up this morning refreshed.

last night we went to a diamondbacks game. they were winning 9 to nothing by the seventh inning stretch, so we left early.

the bf and i bought a new sofa from ikea. it's black leather. exactly what you'd want in the hot arizona sun, right?

i bought pillows to make it brighter:



what do you think? i love them.

work

okay.

i o u one good post.

it might not be today, but i will try someday soon.

right now i am frustrated with my new job.

i feel like they are setting me up for failure.

maybe failure is too good a word. because at least that would be something.

i feel like they are setting me up for nothing.

to come from my shop in minneapolis, to this, at this salary, for this role, with these responsibilities.

it all smacks of b.s. to me.

so i rant. and i rave. and everyone around me listens.

but the only one who can change it is me.

day

i can't help it.

seeing someone else on her wedding day makes me wish for my own.

it was beautiful. emotional. sweet.

just the way it should be.

kauai

everything here is surreal.

i feel like i am surrounded by a universe so beautiful it cannot possibly be there.

the palm leaves against the blue sky. the roosters roaming. that clear dimensional water. layered blues, greens, and rusts.

and yet. i know this holiday is one where i am riding out my patience. where i already have none.

traveling with the bf's family, while still dear, is much like traveling with my own family.

except. far, far worse. because i can't get upset or control any of them. they are not my own. and they are not mine to manage.

no one knows how to be quiet. drivers licenses have seemingly dissolved while crossing the ocean (read: the bf and i drive. everyone. everywhere. anytime). the sleeping arrangements. family drama.

the typical loving family holiday.

but it is beautiful here. and the moments that the bf and i have stolen have made the whole holiday worth it.

i have rubbed his back on the lanai. our frequent shuttling have allowed us minutes of privacy. we indulged in chocolate-covered macadamia nuts and watched the colbert report in his makeshift bedroom (read: laundry room). we support each other with smiles and winces.

he and i will need a post-holiday holiday upon return.

update

in kauai for the bf's sister's wedding.

it is so beautiful here!

i'll be back soon.

thank you for all the wonderful wishes.

xoxo.