kauai

everything here is surreal.

i feel like i am surrounded by a universe so beautiful it cannot possibly be there.

the palm leaves against the blue sky. the roosters roaming. that clear dimensional water. layered blues, greens, and rusts.

and yet. i know this holiday is one where i am riding out my patience. where i already have none.

traveling with the bf's family, while still dear, is much like traveling with my own family.

except. far, far worse. because i can't get upset or control any of them. they are not my own. and they are not mine to manage.

no one knows how to be quiet. drivers licenses have seemingly dissolved while crossing the ocean (read: the bf and i drive. everyone. everywhere. anytime). the sleeping arrangements. family drama.

the typical loving family holiday.

but it is beautiful here. and the moments that the bf and i have stolen have made the whole holiday worth it.

i have rubbed his back on the lanai. our frequent shuttling have allowed us minutes of privacy. we indulged in chocolate-covered macadamia nuts and watched the colbert report in his makeshift bedroom (read: laundry room). we support each other with smiles and winces.

he and i will need a post-holiday holiday upon return.