po po

i flew to boston on tuesday morning.

my grandmother. my mom's mom. had a stroke and a heart attack last friday.

on sunday my parents flew out to boston.

on monday everything was supposed to be fine. no longer life-threatening.

by monday evening my brothers and i were told to get on planes asap.

i had a dream about her that night. we were shopping and walking hand in hand. i told her in chinese, you are a beauty queen, right? she nodded yes. and smiled that smile of hers.

when i arrived, a cab took me straight to the hospital.

i saw her in bed. she was hooked up. as expected. but when they called to her, and told her i was there, she opened her eyes. she saw me. i smiled at her and said hello. she tried to speak but couldn't. i showed her my engagement ring and her eyes smiled at me. i told her i loved her. and i said bye bye.

my grandmother. her skin is so beautiful. i learned that she only went to school through the third grade. and she tried to give my mom everything she wanted, even if they couldn't afford it. she made amazing wheel pillows. with so many colors. she was always smiling and shaking her head at our silliness. she was stern with us when we were younger. i remember always, always, how lovely she smelled. light and fresh and clean. no pretension. just real grandmother. she loved game shows and gambling. my mom would take bus rides to mystic lake casino with her. my grandmother has the softest hands. such a lovely lady.

i told her i love you. i told her i will remember you.