/\/

i am remembering you tonight.

you told me you started the night we met and never stopped.

you say that to all the girls.

and i loved your words. you begged my coworker to introduce us. i received a random email introduction. i spotted you in the office one day.

you. have. a way. with words.

i do love the way you spin me so that i am surrounded by words that make me swoon. i fell in love with the things that you would tell me. say to me. write to me. and in return you were rebuffed and rejected. i soaked in the power. took baths in it. with you i felt a million feet tall. super.

and yet. i never felt that spark with you. the thing i know you're supposed to have but we didn't. i let my guard down for a moment because i loved the way you love me, not the way i liked you back.

one time you asked me to marry you. over the phone. i thought it was so lame at the time, so silly. how was i supposed to take you seriously when you couldn't even look me in the eye and ask me? you had a plan. you would drop everything and we would be together, if i would. just. give you. a chance.

i regret the way it went down. and i regret the hurt i caused. but i don't regret the decision i made. not for a moment.