nye

new year's eve.

the h and i have been in all day. woke up, made breakfast, and i reorganized the kitchen. grin.

saturday night live marathon on comedy central.

ordering chair pads for tulip arm chairs in this pattern:



aside from the regular goings on, i've been thinking lately. caught in my past, yet learning from it. thankful, so very grateful for where i am now. 2010 has been a year of wonder for me. i got married! i am pregnant! this year was like throwing my head back and laughing into the wind. pure magic. and exceptional experiences. life is sweet.

i only wish for 2011 to be just as full of wonder.

things

i've been spending furiously lately.

i think i'm in full-on nesting mode, but for every room EXCEPT the nursery. some of my latest splurges:





it's stuff that i never would have considered spending my money on as my younger self. but now i find immense satisfaction in filling our home with beautiful things. things i love. with my love.

pre

it's the day before my birthday!

so weird. i'm home. alone. the h is in pittsburgh for work. tomorrow i'm off to msp. alone. i hope that the weather goes easy on me. going home. for real.

kind of a bummer that the h is stuck in pa, but i'm determined to have a happy day anyway. grin.

hope you and yours have a wonderful day! xoxo

first

a letter to my sister-in-law from 9.13.2010:

hi dollface!

we are going for sure. i'm exhausted and feel like crap but we're going. :)

i'm feeling terrible! i know i should feel all blissed out and glowing, but honestly i've had 24/7 morning sickness for the past 5 weeks, and i am sooooo sick of feeling horrible. i found out at about 5 weeks because i was coming home from work and going to bed at 8p. i didn't know why i was so exhausted, and it was about a week before my period was due. h was out of town for work, so i picked up a pregnancy test just to rule it out. it turned positive so fast i almost passed out!! i tried another test in the morning, same thing. eep!! so i told him it might be some kind of fluke/false-positive and i would try again a week later. so a week later i did it again and made him look and he wouldn't tell me what it was (i guess that was our special, stupid way!). so i looked and again, it said "YES" and i almost peed myself again. we weren't exactly trying, we were not not trying, you know? anyway, sheesh. so fast! who knew? i was convinced it would take us two old biddies a while to get it right.

and hell yes, we're going to find out the sex of the baby. you know me. i gotta plan my whole life around this now. :) we won't find out until about 20 weeks, which drives me crazy because i'm only halfway there.

i don't think we're going to move back anytime soon, but i'm hoping my kid won't have to go to school here. :)

but we're excited. i'm just too sick to be too happy about it right now. i bought ginger tea, ginger candy, ginger gum, ginger saltine crackers (those kind of help), ginger cookies, and those dried fruits that always used to make me feel better. but nothing really helps that much and i can barely eat anything but cheerios and fruit. so sad. :( i'm not that hungry either - just nauseous and exhausted. so you can imagine how i feel at work all day. :) bathrooms make me gag on sight. a fruit and yogurt parfait i had from starbucks was the best thing i've ever had a couple of weeks ago. i also flipped out over a bagel with marmalade. i gag/dry-heave all day long. a friend of ours just got married (i mean JUST like three weeks ago) and they are pregnant as well, and i brought over some ginger crackers and candy and she was like "i was sick for like two days in the morning but then nothing since then" and i wanted to punch her and take those ginger crackers back.

i also can't eat and drink in the same meal sitting. it's super annoying. but my stomach gets really upset. i can't stand the taste of plain water, so i have to put lemon, strawberries, or something in it. the fruit water drinks don't help because they taste too syrupy and sweet. i can't eat too much otherwise my stomach gets upset. i can't eat too little because then i'll get even more nauseous and heave more. i can't stay up too late because i'll start feeling SUPER sick and dry-heave my way to sleep (i worked 14 hours last thursday on a business trip and i thought i was going to die i felt so horrible). it's like having the stomach flu for a month.

i make it sound so FABULOUS, don't i? although at our confirmation appointment i got to see the baby's heartbeat and i cried. that was cute i guess.

other than that, no picnic for me even though everyone tells me how worth it everything is. i'm having a hard time right now!! :)

that's probably way more info than you wanted to know, but stay tuned, i'm sure i'll have better updates for you. :)

xxoooxoxoxo can't wait to see you!
sophie

p.s. i could also cry like every other day if i let myself. i feel like i'm constantly on the verge of a breakdown. glamorous.

grump

i had a great morning that turned into a funk.

argh. i can't tell if i'm just crabby or if i'm unhappy or what. i'm just a little blue i guess.

perhaps i'm in a rut. it's still in the 60s here so i should be able to rock out whenever i want, except one of the things i majorly dislike about the holiday season is the swarms of people at the shops. seriously! last week the h and i were supposed to meet for dinner after a quick bon voyage hh and the instant i turned into the parking lot i knew it was never going to happen. i get panicky and anxious and claustrophobic. and, er, grumpy.

so i guess i feel kind of trapped. in my own home. of my own doing i suppose.

as someone who loves to shop online, have gifts shipped home, wrapped, and shipped to the mother land, i feel wonderful. as someone who likes to window shop occasionally and actually try things on once in a while, i feel completely ripped off.

except look at the deliciousness i managed to snag online (30% off!):





oh please oh please let them fit my prego body. with the loose, baggy trends these days i'm still able to fit into my regular size, with some adjustment layering pieces. joy!

mamamio

so i'm not entirely sure this works yet, but i'm crossing my fingers:



trust me. the skin is doing weird things. itching. stretching. dry spots. um, i can see INSIDE the belly button. and i have a super innie. hair is growing. i'm lovin' mama mio's tummy rub oil but it gets everywhere, so i put it on after my shower before i step out (slippery!). the rich cream is wonderful. super rich but super absorbent. and the packaging - when i received my congratulations box i almost started crying (note: set doesn't help with emotion-inducing hormone fluctuations).

tabalah

today i bought this dress (i'm avoiding maternity clothes).



delicious. as i feel more and more like my body doesn't belong to me (and indeed it no longer does), the more i want cover it with pretty things.

nursery

dude. i hope you like babies because i have complete baby on the brain (i'm talking to you, miss wm!)

i am in middle of figuring out the nursery. once i narrowed it down to the color it was easy. i want neutral, organic bedding. a crib/changer set that isn't too girlie. the h loves that it's not pink. i kind of do too. if i can track down the thomas paul fabric of the pillows i might have the h's mom make us a quilt for baby. fantastic. i am completely in love with this room. it calms me already (i'm thinking i'll need it).

i might need another accent color to keep the room from getting too boring, perhaps an antique gold? too much?

news

um, i know.

it's been a while.

and i promise i didn't mean to do it. just kind of happened.

quick updates before i resume regular posting:

1. we are pregnant! yes. it was planned. yes. i didn't want to say anything for at least three months. yes. it's been five.
2. we were robbed (quote from flight on the way home from msp: "we really should get a safe or something for all my jewelry.")
3. we went to costa rica for a honey/baby-moon!

okay. that's it. thanks for staying with me.