yoc

i just found out that a guy i used to date (read: french-kissed once in my bedroom during junior high) works at my previous place of employment.

the bulk of our relationship consisted of finding out that he liked me and then all of a sudden we were "together." wow. i wish real relationships worked that way.

he came over to my house once under the guise of hanging out with my brother (and brought his best friend as a decoy because guys in junior high are too cool to travel alone).

oh, that magical half hour in my bedroom (gasp! as if!). i thought this was it! my first french kiss - i thought it was going to be way more, um, way less, er, slobbery. ew. this was it?! what a major letdown in my then teenage angst-ridden life. where were the sparks and fireworks and that tingly feeling adults got in all the romantic comedies? the stupid grin? what about the wining and dining? the champagne and strawberries and perhaps dinner before a walk in the park and giving me your coat when i get cold? none of that. just a cold, minty, surprisingly hard tongue in my mouth. ick.

and with that? a girl's dreams (and her realization that romantic comedies are full of sh*t) come crashing down.

i was pretty sure i could live the rest of my life without it.*

i also remember sneaking out in the middle of the night in my mother's car to his house (with a friend, natch), and getting lost. so much for romantic comedy.

if i remember correctly, a week later i found out that the boy was "dating" (read: getting way more action from) another girl.** when he learned that i found out, he "dedicated" (read: heard) a bryan adams song to me that happened to be playing on the radio the exact time he called me. how convenient! please, the kiss wasn't at all great and now i'm supposed to take this? i don't think so.

i didn't buy it then. and i don't buy it now.***

the memories! make it stop. please stop telling me you know people i used to know. most likely, i used to date him. or i went out on one date with him once and never called back to "reciprocate." or i made out with him in college. or i just kissed him in a bathroom in new york (gross). or i met him on a plane. or we met at a bar in orange county and he gave me a ride back to the hotel. or he worked at a bar in vegas and had a girlfriend but i was convinced he could still love me. most likely.

love, sophie

*oh shut up. what did i know?
**i also heard that she had the herp. [insert maniacal woman-scorned laughter here]
***i think this is the exact moment that led to my never-ending suspicion of men in general. yikes.