bells

dang it.

what's really on my mind today?

the fact that my brothers are ready to tie the knot.*

like, really get married and have babies.

i am happy for them. i really, really am. why wouldn't i be? they are my little brothers.

my little. baby. brothers.

sniffle.

and i will lose them to great women. and they will have babies. and wonderful families.

maybe i am just envious.

[side note: i never know which word to use, envious or jealous. after countless corrections from the bf, i now hesitate before saying anything, which usually results in an emphatic "i am ENvi..JEal...ous!"]

i am envious [or jealous] of the way they both know. the easy way they both seem so ready, so enthustiac to embark on that journey. how it fell so easily into place for them. that the pieces came together and they found it.

maybe they learned from my mistakes. or better yet, maybe they didn't.

*i will admit my first thought: "how could they? before me?!"