buoy

whew.

today was a whirlwind!

i am just winding down, and i feel mentally exhausted.

but emotionally buoyant.

in classic bf style, the bf invited me to dinner with his siblings. at the last minute. i went though, and had some of the greatest mu shu pork ever.

i apologized to the bf for being absent lately. we talked it out. i am just starting to get used to spilling my thoughts and knowing that neither of us will run. strange how i transfer my own thoughts of running onto him, even though he has done nothing of the sort. i fear in him most what i fear in myself. that my thoughts of running away somehow make me guilty. that there has to be a reason, that he is driving me away. when really i am doing it all by myself.

i am pretty good at that.