Saturday, December 26, 2009


we went dress shopping today.

i. love. my. dress.

i knew it was mine the minute i put it on. i almost burst into tears when i opened the dressing room door and stepped out onto the platform.

my mom. his mom. his sister. friend e.

i knew. it just. felt. perfect.

a beautiful gift from my mom. it makes me so happy thinking about it.

such a happy day. merry xmas.

Thursday, December 17, 2009


i still miss her.

every day.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

po po

i flew to boston on tuesday morning.

my grandmother. my mom's mom. had a stroke and a heart attack last friday.

on sunday my parents flew out to boston.

on monday everything was supposed to be fine. no longer life-threatening.

by monday evening my brothers and i were told to get on planes asap.

i had a dream about her that night. we were shopping and walking hand in hand. i told her in chinese, you are a beauty queen, right? she nodded yes. and smiled that smile of hers.

when i arrived, a cab took me straight to the hospital.

i saw her in bed. she was hooked up. as expected. but when they called to her, and told her i was there, she opened her eyes. she saw me. i smiled at her and said hello. she tried to speak but couldn't. i showed her my engagement ring and her eyes smiled at me. i told her i loved her. and i said bye bye.

my grandmother. her skin is so beautiful. i learned that she only went to school through the third grade. and she tried to give my mom everything she wanted, even if they couldn't afford it. she made amazing wheel pillows. with so many colors. she was always smiling and shaking her head at our silliness. she was stern with us when we were younger. i remember always, always, how lovely she smelled. light and fresh and clean. no pretension. just real grandmother. she loved game shows and gambling. my mom would take bus rides to mystic lake casino with her. my grandmother has the softest hands. such a lovely lady.

i told her i love you. i told her i will remember you.

Sunday, December 06, 2009


he finally did it.

finally bit the bullet.

we hiked (to the top of a mountain!) where he proposed.

on this day, we met. seven years ago.

not being big on anniversaries, i didn't give it another thought, like most years.

but this day, this seventh year, was different.

we sat at the top and watched the planes take off from the airport. caught the sun rays.

we had started talking about my birthday present. i, of course, was rambling off about my favorite subject: me.

and he said, "i already got you a present."

pulled out the ring.


i was stunned. taken aback. and speechless.

it was the perfect day. the perfect way. and perfectly us.

Friday, December 04, 2009


a december birthday celebration tomorrow.

i get to wear this:

and i made centerpieces. orchids in tall cylinder vases with black river stones. black candle trays with seashells and tea lights. menu cards to list out the greek food: spanakopita. hummus. gyro. souvlaki. white tablecloths.

so delicious.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009


happy december.

i am looking forward to the end of this year.