Friday, June 29, 2007


i feel great today.

a brief recap of last night:

i went to a "spa" in "eagan" (read: the bf's former manager gave him a spa gift certificate and he graciously re-gifted to me). i made an appointment and told them in advance that i would be paying partially with a gift card.

24-hour cancellation policy aside (come on, people have lives here, things change), i was looking forward to a nice relaxation massage.

So, i went in and received a lovely treatment from ramona.
Only, when i went to pay for it all, they told me of their
Lovely new policy: all gift certificates purchased expire one year after the purchase date. sorry!
In complete disbelief, but still smiling from the side effects of my relaxation halo,
My credit card covered the $94 massage plus a $20 tip.
As I forked over my money, she told me that in august that policy will be illegal, and henceforth, all gift cards will never expire. good news! oh...
Read my lips, honey. you will not be seeing my face (circle hand around face for emphasis) here again.

but i'll tell you what. that grin never left my face.*

*immediately after i left the spa, i called the bf. still riding high from my massage, i could only giggle about it. what could possibly be wrong with paying $94 for a massage when a $45 massage from aveda would suffice? when i feel this great?

the bf, however, was not amused**. he called the spa and they refunded my charge on the spot.

my hero.

**perhaps he needs a massage now.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

king bing

last night we visited the bf's neighborhood market.

and he gave us one of these to try:

i wasn't very hopeful. but now i can't get them out of my mind.

it's like a cherry airhead surrounded by chocolate and crushed peanuts. it doesn't sound very good, yet i am strangely attracted to it.

i need one. now.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

g & c

the bf is a sucker for little girls.

he is uncle to one boy and one girl.

before the girl came along, the bf would wrestle and play trucks with the boy until everyone got tired of watching.

along came the girl, and the bf was sold.

but she is not as easy. she takes time to warm up. she is bossy. and loud.

and boy, does she make you work hard for it.

the bf has taken to calling her tantrum.

and it suits her just fine.

i get a warm feeling in my tummy when i see the bf rolling around with his nephew and niece. and when grandpa t rocks and sings made-up lullabies about tractors and four-wheelers. when niece finally works up the courage to hug the bf. my heart does cartwheels.

because i want it to be our kids.


it pains me...

burberry london
leather manor bag

$1,680.00 was
$1,176.00 now

..that the sale price of this bag is still about 5 times what i would pay for a bag. at full price.

Monday, June 25, 2007


i had an absolutely fabulous weekend.

saturday night at hope, love & faith was exactly what the doctor ordered. some girlies dancing to some girlie music.

we rocked out to girl rock.

my brown-eyed girls. and one blue-eyed girl.

we made out with pink martinis.

and boy, did we bust a move out on the dance floor.

most songs, we were the only four slinking around.

and it was fabulous.

i bagged a bag at the silent auction. it's cream. with studs. yeow.

and everything went to a great cause. breast cancer awareness. give it up for the girls.

i just felt wonderful all around.

Saturday, June 23, 2007


omg. last night the bf and i went on a date.

we decided to try a new place in south minneapolis.

cafe maude. civilized leisure.

i fell in love with the concept before i stepped inside.

so many drinks with lychee. i ordered the pom pom variation.

the fries were wonderful with cheese fondue.

hangar steak and moroccan chicken. we're easy.

at 9 the live jazz started. softly.

and i was completely won over.

p.s. a quick plug from my friend s: hope, love & faith. tonight. try it.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


when i found out i would not be going to the photoshoot in new york, i'll admit i was a little disappointed.

after all, i poured my heart and soul into that project. i was a big part of the team.

i thought everyone knew that.

apparently not everyone.

so, i am not going. when i told the bf, he said:

take next friday off. we will go to new york.

so there.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


stayed at work until 11:30p.

with a brief break for a bikini wax. when i walked in i told nell, you are going to be mad at her because it had been so long since i had been in. if the intensity of the pain had anything to do with her anger level, then she was plenty mad. i thought i had learned my lesson after this, but sometimes life moves too quickly.

the skyway was closed so i had to walk outside to my ramp. how fabulous. downtown at night after a rain is pretty. and when i paid the five dollars to get out of the ramp with my twenty dollar bill, the machine spit out fifteen dollars in quarters. even more fabulous.

once on the road i (1) missed the left turn for 35w south. i took a left at first avenue and (2) turned too soon to get on lyndale avenue. i therefore went back through downtown to get on the same street that would take me on 35w south that i missed in the first place, thus completing my impromptu tour of downtown at night.

i finally found the road that would take me home.

and when i got there i found these:

home sweet home.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


i couldn't bear it if anyone thought the bf was a jerk, so i took down yesterday's post.

the truth is, we cannot help where we are, or where we come from.

i just wish we were walking this path at the same pace. but i just keep running ahead to get somewhere i have never been, to see something i have never seen. i race through like most everything i do, eager to be somewhere else. even if i don't know where that somewhere really is. i want everything i want. and i want it now.

and sometimes it's not fair.

i am dating one of the sweetest, kindest, gentlest, smartest men i have ever known. i believe he could do anything. he makes me feel like i have never felt, and being with him is the meaning of true for me. i want him in his underwear as much as i want him in his glasses. we are both fiery. and passionate. in different ways. and about different things. i am crazy about him. and he drives me crazy. he is mine, and i am his.

so what do you do with something like that?

you hold onto it and never let go.

Monday, June 18, 2007


i had a post up, but i was too angry and had to take it down.

i'm sorry.

Sunday, June 17, 2007


sometimes i feel like everything and everyone is passing me by.

and i am missing out.

this weekend i felt like the world was in order. my family. my boyfriend. everyone i love the most. with me. at home.

i went shopping with my mom. she bought me shoes.

we played poker. my little brother won the pot of $12.

i rolled my eyes with my dad and he laughed. i think he liked his present.

i fell in love with the bf over and over. i just wanted to squeeze him all weekend.

and all was good in the world.

Friday, June 15, 2007


i haven't been feeling like writing much lately.

the humidity just gets me down.

tonight i am volunteering at the children's museum.

then off to relax at the 'rents house to celebrate father's day.

my dad has been into nature and birds lately. so i bought him a bird guide, a map for birding in the minnesota, and a stuffed penguin beanie baby. he was way obsessed with beanie babies a while ago. i know that penguins are not usually spotted 'round here, but it was the only bird they had, and i had this whole bird theme going.

how could i say no? it sure is cute.

happy day, daddy!

Thursday, June 14, 2007


i think the bf is trying to poison me with overripe peaches.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


here's my deal:

if you are a biker, god love you, but if you are going to move like a car, bike in the same lanes as a car, and participate in traffic like a car, you better freaking obey the rules of the road like a car.

i have seen a biker stop at a four-way stop and wait patiently for his turn. when the time came, he biked diagonally through the intersection.

i have also seen bikers ignore stop signs and traffic lights altogether. apparently, road signs apply to vehicles only. rules are for drivers, and we are here to watch out for them. heaven forbid we get in their way. hey, biker, want to take up the bike path and a lane of traffic so you can ride side-by-side? be my guest. you are way too good to follow anyone's rules with your superior form of transportation.

oh, sorry. is my car in your way? excuse me.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

café 44

to be honest, i didn't love it.

café 44 was a bit of a disappointment in my book.

e and i split fries with pesto aioli. sizzling paella with shrimp, chorizo and chicken.

a glass of malbec. a glass of viognier.

homemade blueberry sorbet.

the waitress, endearing at first, stopped by our table no less than ten times within the span of two hours.

e and i had a nice evening catching up, even with all the interruptions. the paella was definitely not sizzling. the pesto aioli just made for flosswork. i caught our waitress standing just behind the kitchen doors for us to glance in her direction and answer her burning question of whether we were having dessert or not.

it reminds me of that yada yada seinfeld episode.

elaine: yeah, i met this lawyer, we went to dinner, i had the lobster bisque, we went back to my apartment, yada-yada-yada, i never heard from him again.

jerry: but you yada-yada-ed over the best part!

elaine: no, i mentioned the bisque.

[laugh track]

i mentioned the sorbet.

Monday, June 11, 2007


perhaps because:

i snore. i live beyond my means. i refuse to admit defeat. i never truly believe i am wrong, even when i am. i laugh too loudly. i get gassy. i sometimes skip breakfast. i am stubborn. i want what i want. and i want it now. i am judgmental. i tend to be too compassionate when compassion is not warranted, and less compassionate when it is needed. i think too much. i get cranky when i am hungry or tired. i get pms trucker style. everything i want is in front of me and i cannot see it. i don't see my family as often as i would like. i spend too much money on dining. my waxes are too important to me. i want to get married. i am easily irritated. i say yes when i want to say no. i say no a lot. in jest. i close up when i am hurt. i don't always know what to say. i want you to love me. i fear the aging process. i dislike the taste of coffee. but i love the smell. i do not work out because i no longer belong to a gym. i talk in my sleep. i am very active in my rem cycle. i get hot and expect you to do something about it. i hate humidity. i am obsessive compulsive. i have to make the bed everyday. i need a lot of attention. i like to be the center of attention. it is all about me. except when it isn't. and i hate it.

okay, okay. i get it.

Friday, June 08, 2007


dear bf,


you can come home now.



there is something about these sandals that i adore.

maybe it's that they are so simple. and so elegant.

whatever it is, i want them.


the phone rang and an unrecognizable number blinked.

i answered. it was the bf.


he had been thinking about where we would go for our fall trip.

a week in ladakh.


he told me to look it up.

i googled. it is in northern india on the highest plateau. rests near the himalayas.

he also told me it was the adventure-kind of trip that i mentioned i would like to share with him. he said he had heard great things about ladakh, but that i might have to get used to two star hotels for a while.

a two star hotel? easy.

but yacks, snowcocks and pikas?

oh my.

Thursday, June 07, 2007


n at beaujo's tonight.

n is a kindred spirit of mine. in another life, we were probably the same age. but in this one, she is five years younger than me. she is wildly beautiful, with blue eyes and curly hair to die for. she has grown into herself in the past two years and it shows.

she looks up to me in a way that i hope to see myself.

tonight, over petite burgers, bruschetta, apricot and blueberry crisp, and orange spice teas, we caught up.

she has fallen for a man ten years older. she has never felt like this before, and it is hard for me not to like him as much as she does. it is difficult for me to say anything against him even though i would not wish this kind of relationship for her at this point in her life.

still, we do not always get to choose.

sometimes it just happens, and we go for it.

el meson

i am homesick for the bf.

even though i am enjoying life. currently.

last night i had dinner with special at el meson.

i love the booth caves. and the dark decor.

we had a carafe of sangria. arroz con pollo. arroz con mariscos.

the tamales are killer, but i did not order them last night.

we mostly drank the sangria and cradled our respective rice dishes.

another easy evening.

every night moves so quickly. the hours fly by. time passes and pacifies the lonely.

i missed a call from the bf today. five in the morning.

i glanced at it and didn't recognize the number. uttered no. sent it to voicemail.

slept until 8a. listened to a voicemail from the bf.

sad i missed him.

tonight, another girlfriend. another easy evening.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007


hi! i shop online. and i heart these blue vases.

always get vases in pairs. otherwise one will get lonely.

not to mention the bad feng shui.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


i vividly recall the moment i started to like the bf.

it was winter. of 2002. cold.

he had asked me out for coffee.

a coffee. how simple.

except we both live and die by our credit cards, and uncommon grounds only accepted cash that night.

we scrambled for three dollars and odd change, and he said get the lady whatever she wants.

i opted for tea. the barista took pity and gave him a hot drink also.

we sat across from each other. he never took his coat off.

i was wearing a cream cashmere sleeveless turtleneck. dark rinse jeans. i was freezing.

he kept his hands around the back of his neck. i told him it was freaking me out, and he said he had cold hands. he always has cold hands. i thought that was weird.

conversation idled. we spent most of the time looking at each other. not staring.

more like...curious.

we left the coffee house. i was convinced that nothing was there. sure, physical chemistry. but as far as clicking, i thought not. he didn't make me laugh. he didn't seem that interested. in me. i wasn't sure i was interested.

he invited me to his house for tea. i begged off. he said he would like to make me tea. i said okay. but i won't stay long.

at his house, he put the kettle on. wheeee. water boiled.

he took out one broken tea ball. gracefully held it together and made us tea. one cup at a time.

and that's when i thought: i can work with this.*

* i wanted to end the story here. well, first i had to stop the story here because i started to weep. but i wanted to continue and finish the evening:

it was time for me to go.

he opened his arms for a hug.

i hugged him. squeezed.

i said, i feel like i will break you.

he said, you will.


i have fallen in love again.

this time, with sharon's sorbet in coconut.

heaven in non-dairy composition.

come here. let me love you.


the bf is not with me this week.

he is working in tokyo for the first part of the week, on vacation in thailand for the latter.

i miss him when he is not around.

he called three times on sunday.

and i still miss him.

more about the bf that i love:

1. both his belt and his watch are knockoffs. i love this because he can afford luxury items, but he is still tight anyway. it's adorable, and it makes me want to buy him real stuff, even though i cannot afford it.

2. he doesn't know how to make coffee. see previous post. i love when the bf is mediocre at some things because he excels at most things. it reminds me that nobody is perfect, and that i love the imperfect parts of him the most.

3. he still has a baby gift that he told me to purchase for a coworker in his car. it has been at least eight months. i did not know about it until his siblings and i took his car for a joy ride. i put the present in my car for future gifting and for preservation's sake. i like taking care of him because he takes care of me.

gosh, i miss his face.

Monday, June 04, 2007

classic bf

the bf does not drink coffee.

however, when his parents were visiting, he attempted to make coffee.

twenty minutes later, the coffee was still not done.

i glanced at the pot. hmm. looks like dirty water.

he did a taste test. taste this, it's okay.

after some milk, we served his mom and dad.

after a sip, his dad stands up.

starbucks or caribou?

Sunday, June 03, 2007


the bf and i had a date on friday night.

at crave, the new restaurant in the galleria.

after being seated at a table that just barely made the edge of the dining room, we ordered spring rolls. scallops. pork tenderloin. and a buttery chardonnay.

i dislike buttery chardonnay.

we were tentative at first, but quickly realized that the meal was pretty good.

a man walked in. shirt unbuttoned to his midsection. tucked into tight dark jeans that hugged his curves. and yes, he had curves. the bf spent a moment studying this curiousity. did you see that shirt? after several moments, the bf looked at me. it would be a cool shirt if he didn't wear it like that. oh! do you think he's...? and i laughed, because once again, the bf's powerful sense of observation comes through.

when the live jazz performance started, we were sold.

a nice place. in edina? in the galleria?

much to our surprise, yes.

Friday, June 01, 2007


just when you thought the saga was over.

i bumped into him again.

walking back into my building.


he was entering the revolving doors and i said hello.

he asked if we could get coffee upstairs.

i hesitated.

sure, why not?


1. he paid for our $5 drink order with a $100 bill
2. on the way down the escalator he told me about the property he owns
3. coworker l said that she knows him from a previous life: and confirmed that he is indeed both rich and a slut.

i am not, however i might appear to be, a golddigger.