Saturday, September 30, 2006


would it be lame to talk about how gorgeous the weather is in minnesota?

i love it. fall is here. low humidity. low seventies.

the bf didn't leave yesterday. (does that make yesterday's post a lie?)

checked out the chambers hotel last night. nyc by way of hennepin and ninth. it was gorgeous and modern. my element. slick, white, and sparkly. the view on the patio is amazing. two lovely glasses of pinot noir and i imagined i was somewhere else.

this morning we went to the edina grill for breakfast. horrible, undercooked eggs. my stomach is still reeling.

we kicked back in his backyard and took a twenty minute nap. it was perfect.

currently, the bf is en route to london. i wonder if he misses me yet.

Friday, September 29, 2006


the bf leaves for london today.

i am envious. and wistful. and light blue.

he stopped by the shop last night, "to tell you how beautiful you are."

this morning as he slipped out of bed, i rolled over to feel the warmth of his imprint. i willed his impression to linger, to stay with me and hold my heart until he comes home, to take care of me until he finds his way back.

no one else makes me feel like he does.

how does the saying go? the heart makes the distance grow smaller.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


yesterday was a long day.

when i left the office, i walked to my parking ramp on fifth street in downtown minneapolis.

i was talking to s at the time, we were going to meet for a quick dinner at the edina grill.

after walking a reasonable distance to my car, i discovered that my car was not there.

s, i said, i don't know where my car is!

following is the sequence of events:

1. i walked around the corner of A6
2. door to stairwell was locked, i cursed the video monitor
3. i got on the elevator and pushed A4
4. the elevator doors opened and i got out
5. i screamed when i got out on A8 (aka the roof)
6. i looked pointedly at the video camera in the elevator
7. i got off the elevator on A4
8. i walked around the corner of A4
9. i walked down to A2 and resolved to walk up the ramp until i found my car
10. bingo. car found on A2.

fifteen minutes later. losing my car happens so often i just throw up my hands and give in.

i'm sure the security guys got a great laugh out of it all. jerks. what, can't help a girl out?!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

a wish

i know most of you reading are my dear, dear friends.

today there is one in particular on my mind.

when i met s, i did not think there was a pure sweetheart left on the planet. i was wrong.

she was mixed up about her boyfriend, struggling with emotions.

but today, she has renewed, and she is brilliantly in love.

"i love him so much sophs. i didn't know you could feel like this."

and what a perfect time of year to be in love. it's crisp outside; the perfect temperature for cuddling.

when you're in love like s is, it is infectious, and makes everyone's heart smile.

the feeling behind her words, the passion she feels for her bf, it's enough to make you lose your breath.

because i know what she feels like, to feel like you've finally found it. on so many levels.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


i made dinner for the bf last night.

he was working late, and i thought we could relax with some good food and great conversation.


lesson 1: grilled tuna means you need an actual grill.

lesson 2: grilling does not mean the same as frying.

who knew?

lemon juice, honey, oregano, salt, pepper, olive oil, capers in a tomato salad. no cooking required -- it turned out beautifully.

and we somehow skipped conversation. we watched curb your enthusiasm instead.

not quite the same. still, i resolved to be content sitting next to the bf. recognize his need to unwind.

but the bf saw right through me. sigh. it's that darn connection we have. or because my feelings are transparent.

Monday, September 25, 2006


the bf and i are engaged in a battle of wills.

i am pretty sure i will win.

last night, the bf made fun of my snappy retort (suitable for all occasions): whatever.

something about wit, yada yada, great comeback, something something.

usually, i am a sassbox. sometimes, a whatever is called for.

however, per the parameters of our verbal scrap, i am no longer allowed to use it when responding to his barbs.

we will count how many times i say whatever* and how many times he says, "you're something else."

variations on elements contained in "you're something else" include:

* you're
* you are
* you
* are
* something
* somethin
* else

i don't know how i will do it, but i will. it's just that, whatever speaks volumes. it is applicable to a whole range of emotions. how will i live without it? oh dear valley girl, what have i done?

*written whatevers do not count towards total.

Sunday, September 24, 2006


i pretend to be annoyed,

but secretly:

i love when i catch the bf looking at me.

Friday, September 22, 2006


the bf's mom turns fifty today.

we are suprising her at dinner in duluth.

the bf and i put together a photoshow for the event, with family photos and music.

i went over to his house last night to help put it together.

i walked in the door. we kissed.

the bf said, 'what did you have for dinner?'

i said, quite proudly, 'veggie tamale pie from gigi's.'

he said, 'it's really strong."

huh? what does that mean? how can i take care of it? what is the degree of offensiveness here? do i need to brush my teeth or stand outside to aerate?

after several minutes of trying to pinpoint the exact ingredient that resulted in my strong fragrance, i became more perplexed.

exasperation = 'do you want me to leave?'


and there you have it, boys and girls. our first fight regarding an affront to the olfactory senses.

Thursday, September 21, 2006


i am so excited for grey's anatomy tonight.

the season premiere.

waiting with bated breath.

here's my one gripe, aside from generally resisting the preference for medical dramas (really?! is the hospital a sexy place? does the smell of cheerios and band-aids turn you on?):

i hate meredith grey.

she represents everything i dislike: the whine, the need, the weakness.

"pick me, love me, choose me."

my ass.

i want to shake her. most of all, i want to give her some advice. sure, mcdreamy is adorable. he has crinkley eyes, and he is, for all television intents and purposes, a smart doctor. but to actually fall all over yourself to win back someone who wants to reconcile with his wife? to get over someone lying to you about said wife? to kid yourself about being over someone and then giving him your dog? what is this? am i supposed to fall for this kind of sh*t?

how can someone be so smart and so dumb at the same time? and don't get me started about how she always looks like she's half-asleep. eye roll.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

good until 9/20/06

i have to admit, sometimes i cannot get enough of the bf.

as in, i am always pestering him, and i need his full attention at all times. as in, i am always getting in his way or trying to get to where he is. as in, i am always underfoot.

last night was no different.

we went to his brother's house in st.bonafacius, which usually means that i sit quietly on the couch while his nephew clamors for his attention. it's a nice, soft evening.

on the way back to his house, the bf says, "can we stop so i can get you a treat?', which usually means that he wants a treat. if he is anything like me, that is. he buys me a popsicle.

nothing like frozen sugar water to get my brain moving again. not to mention my libido. when we get to his house, the bf parks on the sofa. we watch some garbage on the internet. we go up to his room.

the bf tells me to get ready for bed. i bounce around some more and ignore him. the bf tells me to get ready for bed. i pout. the bf tells me to get ready for bed. i start picking up his socks and throwing them angrily on his floor. the bf tells me to get ready for bed. i jump into his arms and wrap my legs around him. the bf tells me to get ready for bed. i look at him in defiance while he climbs into bed.

i go downstairs to get ready for bed.

when i am ready, i come back upstairs. we cuddle. sigh.

i whisper, "baby, wanna do it?"

the bf moans, "i wanted to do it an hour ago!"

and in the silence that followed, i get it: my time for sex has expired.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


i am a sucker for coats.

and i am smitten.

i think i like coats because with the right style and cut, a coat can transcend time and trends. a coat is an essential in minnesota. and since we'll always need it, why not have fun with it?

this coat makes my heart stop. i need it, i want it, i gotta have it.

Monday, September 18, 2006

jake and em

my brothers are very special to me.

we have different personalities that align with our birth order.

i am the oldest. i am bossy. i am a show-off. i like attention.

jake is the middle. he is sensitive. he is creative. he is endearing.

m is the baby. he is always thinking. he has my dad's temperament. he has my mom's charm.

so this post is dedicated to my brothers, who will always live at 14 and 12 in my heart.

10 things i have learned from my brothers:

1. nothing is thicker than blood
2. how to play dumb
3. 'bubba' is the worst nickname in the whole world
4. to steal he-man figurines to make out with my she-ra figures
5. patience in dealing with our parents
6. to appreciate comic books, garbage pail kids, and basketball
7. that stealing is never a good idea
8. how brothers somehow become friends
9. to believe that they do not know what sex is and never want to do it
10. how to love so much it makes you cry

love you, soph

Sunday, September 17, 2006

here, there, and everywhere

we went to a wedding to play croquet...

and i won.

the wedding was wonderful. the weather cooperated. all the details thoughtfully crafted and lovingly set in place. from the birch archway built just for her to the apple crisps as gifts, this wedding was homegrown and felt like home.

everything was pure m, and she looked beautiful.

the best part was when m + family sang together. the waterworks. i couldn't help it.

s and j took turns killing bees until s was stung. a, my sidekick, practiced being a mama and chastised, "well, what did you think was going to happen? you can't punch bees and be surprised when they sting you." i love that she used the word punch.

to m, thank you for letting me in, for laughing hardest at your own jokes, and for allowing me to call you pants.

here's to happily ever after.

Friday, September 15, 2006


i have a stress zit.


of course, right before an event, my renewed commitment to advertising (and correlating workload) has resulted in a mini mountain on my left cheek. perfect placement. i mean, i really couldn't have asked for a better location for a bright red bump to appear.

it's one of those burgeoning ones too, like it won't peak until after the wedding, for goodness sake. it just lies dormant and angry, taunting me with its refusal to bloom.

even my pimple is a tease. sigh.

still, i will treat it with tlc, and i will rub clinique's spot healing gel on it. i will relax. i will breathe. i will recognize that the world will keep moving.

eventually. and on my command.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


we are driving to madison today.

me, the bf, and my pregnant girlfriend.

what could be more fun on a gorgeous day like this?

here's to one tanned arm, butt soreness, and waiting for your turn to be radio jockey.

back on sunday for rest.


and you thought i wouldn't post today.

ye of little faith.

today i went to a photoshoot casting, and i had a flash of what a future with the bf might be like.

the building used to be a community supermarket. it was renovated into a studio space, and the upstairs now serves as living quarters for the photographer and his stylist wife.

their living space is modern and airy. we had lunch on the porch, delighting in the sweet breeze of late summer. the table on the porch was set for eight, complete with white tablecloth and wooden placemats.

i can see getting used to living in a flat, a large space for the bf and me. we would storm to opposite ends when we fight. we could have dinner parties on the porch. i can see him rising for work and kissing me when he leaves as a i lay in bed and softly croon, "work is for suckers." and when i feel like it, i will rise, have a croissant and hot tea, complete a sun salutation, and create.

i want to be an artist. i want to wake up and create. i know i dabble in the creative process, almost by default, guilty by association, but it would be different to be labeled as such.

and with the bf by my side, i feel like i could be anything.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


the bf is so cute.

like most cats, he isn't overtly needy.

i stayed at his house 99% of the time this summer. now that he has two roommates, i have stayed there 0% this week.

but the bf is carefully unaffected.

and when we are talking on the phone, he will casually feel out my evening.

today he asked, "are you hanging out tonight?"

and to me, that could mean:

a. are you hanging out, versus going to work, tonight?
b. are you hanging out.....with your friends tonight?
c. are you hanging home tonight?

i think he means he wants to hang out with me, so the answer would be none of the above.

shows how well we know each other - oh yes, only 33% well.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006



is what i initially wanted to post for today.

and then i laughed. and then i really wrote it. whatever.

so, i'm supposed to meet with the poker night girls tonight. i'm excited, we are going to meet baby girl m. i can't believe my friends are old enough to have babies. make, yes, but have?

i wonder if i'll ever feel ready. i feel like i could someday have a baby. i feel like i like practicing. i feel like one day i will wake up and perhaps want a little girl named simone (steal it and i will punch you) or a little boy named tbd [the bf likes the name vincent because: baby! you can call him vinni or vincent or vince! oh really?].

maybe someday. i just, and don't get all over me because i don't want to have stretch marks or leaky boobs, i just don't know if i want it all. i think i might actually enjoy the temporary breast enlargement. but what about the aftermath? i need my beauty sleep! have you seen me lately?! i'm tired! and i don't even have to breastfeed every 2 hours! and you know what sucks about that? there is no one else that can do what a mom does. scary. i suppose as long as i have one free arm to pour myself a glass of wine...wait a can't drink until you're done breastfeeding! what kind of deal is that?!

ugh. i'm tired just thinking about it.

Monday, September 11, 2006


every morning i buy a hot tea and a croissant.

and when i get the tea, i think, i just paid $1.50 for hot water.

so, i decided that i needed a mug.

but not just any mug. i needed one that i could love. i saw one at caribou coffee that i adored, but decided i couldn't live with myself knowing that i was a brand whore hawking the local brew. after some time on the internet, i found it at a decent price with no shipping costs and (more importantly) no brand. eureka!

i purchased a beautiful silver sigg metro mug, and i had to wait a week to get it.

it's like a work of art! it keeps drinks hot for up to 6 hours!

when i told the bf that i bought a mug so that i could save money, he was happy. but not so much when i told him how much i spent.

what? is $29.99 too much for a mug?

since i know the bf prefers mathematical rationale, here goes:
[disclaimer: the below equation is a marketing major's attempt at math]

mug = $29.99
tea = $1.50/day
mug/tea = $29.99/$1.50 = 19.993 days to payoff, also ensuring a reduction in tea expenditures
therefore, $29.99 mug = exponentially happy sophie with a dividend of satisfied smiles

how do you argue with that kind of return on investment?

now if only i could figure out a way to get my daily croissant...

Sunday, September 10, 2006


i love dancing with the bf.

in our early courting days, the bf would pull me to my feet, wrap his arms around me, and we would sway along to stranded by van morrison. the bf would sing along:

"i'm stranded at the edge of the world
it's a world i don't know
got no where to go
feels like i'm stranded..."

in moments like those i didn't want to be anywhere else. everything i longed for lived in those dances. it was our dance: the moves, the way we held each other tightly, how his voice felt against my ear.

at a wedding last night, that same feeling swept over me. we were back in his room, dancing our dance.

and the dance that we do is the only dance i want to do.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


the bf planned our anniversary evening.

i was wary, but confident.

after a barrage of questions regarding our whereabouts for the evening, the bf said, "you take the fun out of everything!"

i took that as a sign that the night was off to a good start.

he picked me up at my house. he drove for 3 minutes along bryant avenue. slowed. i yelled, "five!"

we had dinner at
five. it was wonderful. salmon for me, lamb for the bf. we both had dessert. mine was aptly named happiness.

he gave me a book by ee cummings, a bob dylan cd, and a card:

to my favorite cat
from your favorite dog

we made it one whole year!
with that kind of luck it's no wonder that vegas is our city.

shall we go for two?

and the answer, always, is yes.

Friday, September 08, 2006

700 balloons

the bf is fulfilling a dream of mine.

to visit the hot air balloon festival in albuquerque, new mexico.

i can barely contain myself, i am so excited.

as i mentioned before, i am a hyper-planner. i want to have the hotel picked out so i can gleam with satisfaction at my superb decision. i am my own biggest fan, and reserving a great hotel is quite the accomplishment.

and i am just stumped. i tend to prefer modern, boutique hotels or slick W hotels. i don't need a four star hotel, like i don't need first class, but i still like it.

but in albuquerque, new mexico? i haven't a clue - i located a beautiful resort, but $300+/night is out of the question. problem is, neither my practical capricornian nature nor my ridiculously tiny salary would allow for that.

so, i am stuck with big name chain hotels (boring) or no name independent hotels (unpredictable), while the chance of getting a room during an event that draws 10,000 people dwindles daily.

smell the panic?

i am on the hunt though, it's just hard to spend so much time on something without getting a splitting headache thinking of all the numbers: the hotel room costs, the distance to the park, the car rental fees; and the fun stuff: what the hotel rooms look like, what to eat at the festival (breakfast burritos), what kind of car to get, and how to tell the bf that the balloon launches are at 7am without him cancelling the trip.

i hope that works. wink.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


the bf found the world's largest spider in his backyard.

we stopped and stared at the web, silky and sparkly, that was spun from the grass to some wire* above his house.

days of rain followed.

we went back out and wondered if the web was still there.

i stood in the spot, and squinted. i couldn't see it, but that didn't mean it wasn't there.

for a moment, i considered running at full speed into the "web."


because if i bounced off it, the web would still be there. obviously.

*i don't know what kind of wire: clothesline, telephone? i just told you that i think spiderwebs are stronger than me. what am i, an electrician?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


i don't understand how one learns to snap a towel.

was every girl sleeping during that lesson?

it's like every guy knows how to do it, and i don't get it.

last night the bf and i chased each other with towels, laughing at my rendition of the snap. a girl will daintily flick the towel, hoping that whipping it many times in a certain direction will make contact. frequency = accuracy. a boy, however, has perfected the snap and always hits his mark. skill = accuracy. what gives?

we are trapped in the bathroom. i wince before the snap. the inevitable sting is shocking. i whimper. my strategy is to confuse the bf with a blend of fancy footwork and rapid arm movements, punctuated with battle cries and towel acrobatics. he is unfazed, wearing a bemused expression i imagine all parents give a child when she "accidentally" pees her pants. clearly, towel snapping is not a talent of mine.

but does that stop me? am i forced to surrender? not until the bf charges at me, towel in hand, full of menace and snarl. i shriek and run for cover. i try to cower on the sauna bench. okay! i give.

in my online search on the subject, i found this little gem.

think, before you snap. a wise 12 year old said, "i think it's hilarious. it hurts but it's fun."

not above taking advice from someone 13 years my junior, i agree.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

classic bf

labor day was gorgeous.

bright and crisp. the bf and i spent time reading on lawn chairs. guns, germs, and steel: the fates of human societies and stumbling on happiness, respectively. a little light reading on a bonus sunday.

the bf turned to me and said, "let's go for a motorcycle ride."

i said, "where would we go?"

the bf said, "we'll take a trip to heaven."

i said, "huh? southdale?"

yeah. my retail heaven.

Sunday, September 03, 2006


in relationships, your heart gets broken.

i realize that most relationships are a series of highs and lows, of soaring hearts and breaking hearts.

you take the good, you take the bad.

but then one day you look at yourself in the mirror, and you think: has my heart had enough?

and you wonder if you have reached your threshold for pain.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

the ring

i gave the bf his anniversary present yesterday anyway.

it was an "us" package.

to complete the gift, i made a stop at the smitten kitten, an intimate toy boutique.

i was looking for something that a had raved about.

it was kind of, a ring.

i am not a prude. i enjoy sex. a lot. and i am not shy about presenting my sex life to the world, see this blog.

however, as i was inquiring about said item, the wonderfully open and helpful saleswoman immediately started talking of c*ck and balls, as in, you put it around his. excuse me? i am a lady. a lady shopping for sex toys, yes. but still a lady.

my, oh my. with each word: wrap, c*ck, balls, squeeze, vibe, feel, good, i willed myself not to blush more furiously. i like to do it as much as she does, maybe even more than she does, why am i so embarassed?

there has got to be a ladylike way to explain those things without resorting to such terms. i prefer things a bit more demure. perhaps there could be a way to describe things using hand motions, a kind of sexual sign language. i'm pretty sure i could handle that.

when i saw that she hosted "p*ssy parties" i balked. i get the double entendre, i really do.
but is it necessary? could we exercise some reservation with our candor? for the sake of the ladies?

don't get me wrong. i'll be going back. i just won't be asking any questions.

Friday, September 01, 2006


it is our first anniversary today.

er, supposedly.

to keep up our nontraditional streak, the bf and i have decided to move our anniversary. when we decided to set a date, we squinted into the future and thought it would be fun to have a dating milestone. a marker for which to measure our dating distance. and it would be fun to have an anniversary in september, when we met in vegas. and let's have a date that always lands on a friday. what better date than the first friday in september?!

such a great plan. what could possibly go wrong?

except we didn't think that every year our date would fall near labor day. and we didn't think that maybe, just maybe, our holiday weekend would be packed with family and trips and eking out the last days of summer.

perhaps we didn't think we would make it this far. nontheless, we have rescheduled.

i'll admit, i made the suggestion. the bf was more resistant. but i didn't know of any other way to make time for his family, my family, and his trip to new york. i love a reason to celebrate, but i hate to rush or share. so there she went.

i told the bf i was disappointed. he assured me that he did care, that he was thinking about getting a hotel room for the evening, that he was looking forward to it. with the hotel idea i felt like a jerk, a la adam sandler in the wedding singer. the thing is, i expect disappointment, but the bf rarely lets me down.

so to the bf: happy anniversary. we travel an unconventional road, but it's the only one i want to be on. thank you for making all my one headlight wishes come true.