i find that when i have a problem i become obsessed with figuring it out.
i need. to. understand.
i pour over articles. search online. ask everyone. look for clues. that one golden nugget. the answer.
and this time i know i will never find it. and it's killing me.
because nothing, no excuse, no reason, no explanation, no answer, is good enough.
and yet. i keep asking. i keep searching. and i keep spinning.
i know it's not good for me, i know that i am the source of my own downward spiral.
but i can't help it.
there just has to be a way to move forward for me.