coffee

i vividly recall the moment i started to like the bf.

it was winter. of 2002. cold.

he had asked me out for coffee.

a coffee. how simple.

except we both live and die by our credit cards, and uncommon grounds only accepted cash that night.

we scrambled for three dollars and odd change, and he said get the lady whatever she wants.

i opted for tea. the barista took pity and gave him a hot drink also.

we sat across from each other. he never took his coat off.

i was wearing a cream cashmere sleeveless turtleneck. dark rinse jeans. i was freezing.

he kept his hands around the back of his neck. i told him it was freaking me out, and he said he had cold hands. he always has cold hands. i thought that was weird.

conversation idled. we spent most of the time looking at each other. not staring.

more like...curious.

we left the coffee house. i was convinced that nothing was there. sure, physical chemistry. but as far as clicking, i thought not. he didn't make me laugh. he didn't seem that interested. in me. i wasn't sure i was interested.

he invited me to his house for tea. i begged off. he said he would like to make me tea. i said okay. but i won't stay long.

at his house, he put the kettle on. wheeee. water boiled.

he took out one broken tea ball. gracefully held it together and made us tea. one cup at a time.

and that's when i thought: i can work with this.*





* i wanted to end the story here. well, first i had to stop the story here because i started to weep. but i wanted to continue and finish the evening:

it was time for me to go.

he opened his arms for a hug.

i hugged him. squeezed.

i said, i feel like i will break you.

he said, you will.