wink wink

whenever i have an annual appointment (and girls, you know what i'm talking about), i have to look my best.

have to as in, i have to shower and put on makeup and dress as if i am going to an interview versus a doctor's appointment.

why? i don't want to look like one of those girls. you know, the girls that do it on a regular basis. i am pure, see? just look at my nice black pants and top! do slutty girls wash their hair? i don't think so! do hookers cross their legs? certainly not!

so i dress as if i am going to a very important person's meeting instead of a slut check-up. i wear black, pinstriped pants. and a demure top. and some sort of cover-up. and i brush my hair. and lovely, day make-up with sheer gloss (no! not gloss, that calls attention to your lips!). and light perfume. i smile innocently with wide eyes and say, 'a uti? oh my! how does that happen?'

because if i don't take all the precautions, they'll know.

hey, shout out to all my hooker friends! HOLLAH!