i am having one of my freakout weeks, complete with a nightmare about the bf.
although relatively calm, i am having a hard time understanding. one of my infinite weak moments. my head hurts from trying to relax and not think about it. i try to let it go, but in doing so, i let myself go. i am too in touch with myself for my own good. i lose myself in my own thoughts, and i wonder if i am building my own future only to never see it materialize.
i feel like when you find something, you should grab it and hold on. make it yours. if you find something like this, you jump on it and pronounce it yours. always.
i struggle with myself because i feel like i am slipping away, wondering about the future when right now is so perfect. but that is the trouble with capricorns. i plan and plan and plan and forget about today. i can't remember that you tell me that you want to be with me now because i am so focused on living the life i dream of living with you in the future.
i want that.
i want to be with you. i want to come home to you. or perhaps more accurately, i want you to come home to me.
okay. i feel better now. have a wonderful weekend.
1 comment:
We are so alike. It must be the birthday.
Some days, the yucky days, the thoughts of the future are what carries me through. And I WANT that future too, God, the house and the babies and the snuggles and the kisses and the total domesticity. Kind of liberating to admit it, but I know exactly what you mean - what IF it doesn't happen, and then we're all up in our heads with this fantasy?
Have a good weekend, sweets.
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