secret

"you can talk to me about anything."

except, when i can't.

i know that i want to be with you. i know that you are my best friend. i know you.

and yet.

i don't know that we can talk to each other about everything.

i know it's because i am scared. i feel like i can be myself with you. and be open. and let you in.

you asked me once if i was going to let you love me. i am trying. it is dizzying. and terrifying. and amazing. in one moment.

but really, when i told you i miss you today, my heart jumped. when i tell you i love you, my heart swells. loving you is the easy part. it is the rest that scares me.

all i need to do is ask. sometimes, the right question can be difficult to shape. before i know it, the moment has passed, and there is nothing left for me to mull over, and i am left with empty questions and absent answers. my mouth a silent 'o'.

"there is a part of you that i can't touch."

maybe so. but i can tell you that i want you to touch every part of me, and i want you to know me. i feel like i've given you everything i can, and i want to give you everything.

because i am yours. and i wonder if you are mine.