i read the modern love column late saturday night.
in the grip of nature's own form of birth control, in turn, gripped me.
as i read about a 38 year-old struggling to have a child, my emotions took over.
fright shook me, to the deepest part of me, until i realized i was holding my breath.
the tears came naturally.
it was little, actually, a mini-weep.
i am not 38, but circumstances have forced me to think about the fragility of my own clock, the one that i assumed ticked on my command.
when i am ready.
except my biggest fear is that i will not be able to have what i want, when i want, because i will not be able.
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