Monday, November 27, 2006

thoughts

i read the modern love column late saturday night.

in the grip of nature's own form of birth control, in turn, gripped me.

as i read about a 38 year-old struggling to have a child, my emotions took over.

fright shook me, to the deepest part of me, until i realized i was holding my breath.

the tears came naturally.

it was little, actually, a mini-weep.

i am not 38, but circumstances have forced me to think about the fragility of my own clock, the one that i assumed ticked on my command.

when i am ready.

except my biggest fear is that i will not be able to have what i want, when i want, because i will not be able.

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